Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
