There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize