It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
