Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
