I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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