ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
