Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
