the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
