So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
