I just cut my nipple shaving
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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