I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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