I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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