the day after is always just damage control
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
