Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
