Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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