i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
