I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So much rum. So many feels.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
