bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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