He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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