Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize