her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
