Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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