Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
