I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
