Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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