just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
