So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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