I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
