I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
