only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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