Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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