i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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