I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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