White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
