i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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