Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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