Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
