we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize