Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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