...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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