Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The power of my boobs compel you
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
