so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
