What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
