I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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