I feel like I'm in dance class right now
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
