Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
