Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
