I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
