elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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