He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
