well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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