quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
