No more Irish car bombs ever.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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