I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
