forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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