Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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