I CAN MOONWALK!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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