OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize