? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
