i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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