dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
