someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need to calm my uterus...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
