I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
