was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My liver just had a heart attack.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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