what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
