No, you can still breathe under the balls.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
