I think i peed on brittanys purse
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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